On Breaking up and being Ghosted

 

-Sia are you alright?

-It's ok, just going through some post breakup heartache.

-Are you sure you're ok?

-Well, to be honest, I'm fucking not.

-But you know what Shakespeare said: Tis Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all..

Well first of all it wasn't Shakespeare, it was Tennyson.

Second of all, I was a sorta happy person before this whole relationship bullshit went down. I mean, I was as happy as can be for a 40+ late transitioner transwoman who blew up her whole life 7 years ago because she couldn't take the repression brainfuck anymore.

I only say this as proof of me being accustomed to dealing with loss. I lost my wife, who was the love of my life, my best friend, confidant and all that was good and beautiful in this world plus my social standing male privilege bs with all those things you don't know a patriarchal society has bestowed upon you even if you considered to be some liberal, socialist male feminist good guy dude. I lost friends I'd known for most of my life and was the delicious gossip of the town for a couple of months and a walking joke. But yeah, I kept moving on, I met some awesome people, picked up some incredible new friends.

But I digress.

Heartbreak sucks, and it sucks more after being gaslighted and lied to even when you were being the emotionally responsible person telling your girlfriend that if she was unhappy or unsatisfied in the relationship she was free to go, I wouldn't hold any grudges and I was grateful for the time we had been together. But no, i had to go through some bullshit crocodile tears manipulation about how she couldn't believe I was feeling that way after all we had gone through.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Remember girls, always trust your intuition.

Anywho i got cheated on (with my other ex) and they're in a happy relationship posting photos of themselves kissing and doing stuff, until out of the blue I got ghosted like 2 days ago.

Sheesh

So yeah it's really something hard to wrap my heart and mind around.

And it feels like shit. And I know I have to internalize this, process this, not rumiate on this eternally by hearing and reading motivational quotes about the nature of true love, letting go, being better off on your own, etc.

 I don't want to hear from the Buddha or Osho or Shakespeare or Tenysson because you know what?

They can all go and eat a bag of dicks.