Self

I am
I am constructed of experience

My experience on repression

My experience as a son

My experience as a man

My experience as a husband
My experience as an ex

My experience on denial

My experience on failure
My experience as a liar

My experience on shame

Shame of what is done
Shame of what I cannot

I am

I am externally built

Built on privilege

Built with strength

Built with love

Built of acceptance

Built of what I am

Built of what I am not
Built with self loathing
Built on failure
Built with fears

Built on promises

Of promises that couldn’t be kept

Of promises that bind

I am

I am dreams
I am nightmares

I am broken

I am reconstructed

But never mended
Never whole again

I chose

Constrained by what I couldn’t

By who I've hurt
By what I've destroyed

Even when I didn’t mean it

By whom I loved

And those who love me back

And those who can’t

And those who won’t

I am me

I am transgender

I am lesb
I am